In Defense of Dads

I just went on a rant on my Facebook, and realized that I had a lot more to say than I could put into one status.

DH is not a daddy yet--he's still got about one month to go. However, I'm already feeling defensive on his behalf.  There is a war in America right now: a war on dads.  I've heard it mentioned that it's because they are the last "safe" group to mock.  You've seen it: the idiot dad in commercials on TV or the condescending baby gear. Yesterday, I was picking up a few last minute things at Buy Buy Baby, and saw a onesie that was labeled as "Daddy Proof" with arrows indicated which hole was for which body part, and that the bottom should be snapped.  It probably will not come as a surprise to you that DH dresses himself every day with no assistance from me, and in fact, he is not confused when his clothing fastens with snaps.  Yet, I saw a graphic on Pinterest with the caption: "Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown manchild who can't take care of himself."

I stopped.

I stared.

Now, I like a good joke. Even cynical jokes with enough truth in them that they make you wince a little even while you're laughing.  But I stared at that graphic and wondered if there were people that found that truthful enough to laugh it.  There is nothing about DH that makes me think he can't take care of himself.  Perhaps he is a "manchild" because he likes Legos and playing video games.  But he also holds down a steady job to support our family, helped me make it through graduate school and the loss of my father, spends a great deal of time and energy on home improvements, and regularly dresses himself and feeds himself.

I've seen other blogs and videos that address the issue of the "Idiot Dad."  Heaven forbid we moms should leave our children alone with them.  They might not know how to change a diaper or they might buy an inferior product.  They don't know how to eat healthy (of course the wives always know how to eat healthy and satisfy their cravings for junk food by eating cereal or yogurt). Ok, I'll admit it.  DH does have a deep abiding love for Pizza Bites and Jalapeno Poppers.  But if I'm around, he has to be alert or they'll make their way onto my plate.  He also enjoys salads even more than I do.  It's also true that he has never changed a diaper.  He also has limited experience holding babies.  Yet, when our baby is born, I am 100% sure that he will know to hold the baby the right way up and support its head.  I also have complete faith that I will show him how to change a diaper one time and he will do it correctly. In fact, he is perfectly capable of figuring out that task on his own.  I would never hesitate to leave our child under his sole supervision because he is not an idiot.

My DH is no exception to the rule (although I do find him quite exceptional across the board).  My dad raised me nearly solo from when I was 3 until I was 9.  It's true that occasionally my sisters had to brush my hair, but that was more because he was an absent-minded professor. He wasn't an idiot, he just had more important things to think about than personal appearance.  He fed me extremely wholesome, home-cooked meals, comforted me when I had nightmares, took me shopping for clothes, and made sure that I always felt safe and loved.

I have five sisters, all of whom are married to intelligent, capable men.  When one of them became a dad at 28 years old, he took to it immediately.  He adores his two daughters and has an extremely close relationship with them. It's Daddy that puts them to bed each night while Mommy does the dishes. My brother also has two daughters as well as a son.  He's gentle but strict with them, and he and his wife share parenting duties.

In fact, as I write, I keep trying to think of anyone in my life who fits the "idiot dad" stereotype. I can't think of a single one.  That's not to say that all the dads I've ever met are perfect. All people are flawed, and some dads aren't good dads.  But you know what? Some moms aren't good moms. And usually it's not because these people are idiots. There are other character flaws that make them less than ideal parents and spouses.

But let's hear it for the good dads, the capable dads, the loving and involved dads.  Because I know quite a few.

Grilled Salmon Salad

I love to eat out.  Part of it is the food, part of it is that I love being waited on and not having to do dishes.  I also love getting ideas for my own kitchen, particularly salads.  I love a really good salad, but always feel like mine are a little lacking in creativity.  Great American Restaurants, however, make a salad that I love so much that I hardly order anything else.  Coastal Flats, Silverado's, Artie's, and all the others all have a variation of this salad.  It's the Short Smoked Salmon Salad. Obviously salmon is the key component: a nice fillet right on top of a bed of field greens. I also always opt for the fried goat cheese for an additional $1. This brings the salad to about $17.  Last night, I decided that it was time to create my own version.

I went to Wegman's and picked up salmon. Since we don't have a smoker, I decided to grill instead (or rather, have DH grill for me).  I picked up french cut green beans and pee-wee potatoes.  Our salad greens came from the farmers' market (we buy a big bag each week).

It was beautiful.

It was also delicious.  Depending on which restaurant, sometimes it comes with asparagus, sometimes it comes with green beans.  I made the decision based on what looked freshest.  Sometimes it also has tomatoes or grilled onions. I kept it pretty simple, to let the salmon and goat cheese shine.

Serves 4.

Ingredients:
4 salmon fillets

She's Back!

It's been quite awhile since I posted in this blog, but a lot's been going on around the Homestead.

Most importantly, DH and I are expecting our first child at the end of August.  Although we're planning on delivering in a hospital, we're going for an unmedicated, natural birth. We were surprised to find out that under 5% of the births in our area are unmedicated.  Then again, with the number of people telling me to "take the drugs," maybe I'm not so surprised.

Because I'm currently seven months pregnant, and knew I would be limited in my stooping abilities and desire to work out in the heat and humidity this summer, we've scaled back the garden.  We're still growing tomatoes, five plants total. There are three sad looking butternut squash plants, a cucumber plant in a hanging pot, lots of herbs, hot and sweet peppers, and strawberries that I started from seed last year.  We're also taking full advantage of the farmers' market for good greens and fresh fruit.

I love the first day of the farmers' market because it's the first day that I can get strawberries. I know that I can get them at the grocery store, but after getting them straight from the source, Safeway's just can't satisfy me.  We buy quarts and quarts of strawberries.  Some are just for eating, some are for desserts, some go in salads, and some end up in jam.

Here is a strawberry almond tart:

This came from a recipe I pinned on Pinterest.  Here's a link to the original. We made this for Mother's Day and it was a big hit.  Just behind, you can see homemade whipped cream.  

So go ahead, enjoy that fresh produce!